Knock on Wood - Screenplay
Included below is the full screenplay for Knock on Wood. Each scene roughly corresponds to a separate iClone project.
FADE IN:
INT. FUNERAL HOME: CHAPEL - DAY
A memorial service is underway. The deceased is in a closed
casket placed in front. Present are several officiates and
some family of the deceased.
The MINISTER, a woman in her 40s, wears religious attire. Her
CURATE is a man in his 30s. The FUNERAL DIRECTOR is in his
50s. His ASSISTANT is a young woman in her 20s.
The family comprises an ELDERLY WOMAN in her 70s, accompanied
by a YOUNG WOMAN and a YOUNG MAN in their 20s. All three of
them are dressed in black and somber looking.
The minister stands behind a podium and faces the assembly.
MINISTER
We are gathered here today to
remember our beloved brother,
hmm...
(looking at her notes)
Joseph Coltry, who left us so very
unexpected.
A knocking is heard, but the acoustics of the chapel make it
hard to pinpoint its origin.
The minister looks around, shrugs, and continues.
MINISTER
Joseph was a good man, a pillar of
the Ratfort community, who will be
dearly missed...
The knocking is louder now. The minister looks irritated. She
stops and gestures for the curate to check the entrance door.
The curate walks to the front and opens the door; there's no-
one there. He returns and shakes his head.
MINISTER
Be comforted though, that he will
look down on those that remain, and
be with you in spirit...
The knocking is now really loud. It's followed by the muffled
voice of JOSEPH, seeming to come from the casket.
JOSEPH
Open up, already!
Startled, the minister approaches the casket.
MINISTER
Anybody there?
JOSEPH
It's me, you bloody fools!
The family gasps. The funeral director and his assistant come
forward.
MINISTER
Curate, get the doctor.
The curate takes his phone out and calls.
The funeral director turns to the minister.
FUNERAL DIRECTOR
You better ask them to leave.
The minister walks over to the family.
MINISTER
Please go. This may be unsettling.
The elderly woman nods and the family leaves.
Meanwhile, the curate finishes his call.
CURATE
Yes, it's urgent. Thanks, doc.
Some time later, footsteps announce someone approaching.
FUNERAL DIRECTOR
There is doc. Let's get Joseph out.
The funeral director and his assistant open the casket. While
the lid opens, a platform inside the casket moves up, as to
be level with the casket's lower rim. Joseph moves, sits up.
The DOCTOR walks towards the casket, past the minister, who
is folding her hands like in prayer.
MINISTER
A miracle...
Joseph turns to sit on the side of the casket.
JOSEPH
Shit! Ouch!!
Exhausted, he lowers his head and closes his eyes.
DOCTOR
Joseph!
Joseph looks up and opens his eyes.
JOSEPH
Oh... Doc...
The doctor places a stethoscope on Joseph's chest.
DOCTOR
Hmm. Strong... Nothing wrong...
JOSEPH
Hah! Doctors...
The doctor gets upset.
DOCTOR
You were dead according to what I
could determine. No pulse, no
nothing...
JOSEPH
Better get your instruments
checked, doc.
Joseph looks around with a smirk.
JOSEPH
The family will be disappointed.
Well, vicar, young lady, gentlemen;
got to go...
He walks away from the group.
FUNERAL DIRECTOR
Hey! Who's paying for the funeral?
Already near the exit, Joseph waves dismissively.
JOSEPH
What funeral? Ask the family!
He exits the chapel. The others look at each other.
FUNERAL DIRECTOR
Well...
DOCTOR
Well...
MINISTER
It's like Lazarus...
INT. FUNERAL HOME: MORGUE - DAY
SUPER: A week later
In the morgue are a number of covered up bodies on rolling
tables. One of the tables is at one side of the room, next to
a sizeable, buzzing machine.
The machine features a large horizonal cylinder, big enough
for a human body. On the front it says "SOL Scanner". On the
side is a console with a display and a control surface. The
doctor is at the controls, the funeral director looks on.
After a bit, the machine beeps and displays: "ALIVE!" The
doctor presses a button on the control surface and out slides
the assistant, who climbs of the platform.
ASSISTANT
And?
DOCTOR
You're alive. That's encouraging.
The assistant shrugs.
INT. FUNERAL HOME: MORGUE - LATER
A dead body slides into the SOL Scanner.
The doctor presses the START button. The machine begins to
buzz and after a bit it stops with a beep. The display
announces: "DEAD!"
DOCTOR
It works! This should help.
FUNERAL DIRECTOR
I hope so. I'm losing money. No-one
wants to pay for burying the
living. Plus, they are upset on
account of their inheritance.
DOCTOR
I hear you. They want to sue me!
INT. DOCTOR'S HOME: KITCHEN - DAY
SUPER: Another week later
The doctor is having breakfast with his WIFE. His attention
is drawn to the main headline in the Ratfort Recorder, which
he reads aloud.
DOCTOR
Listen! "What's Up, Doc! Recent
Risings Rattle Ratfort!"
He lowers the paper and looks up.
WIFE
Four or five since the first one.
What are you going to do?
The doctor shakes his head.
DOCTOR
I have no idea. The new Signs of
Life Scanner doesn't help, and
people want certainty. Life is life
and death is death and never the
twain shall meet.
He smiles at his wife.
DOCTOR
But, it brings more people to
church and to funerals. Interments
are up and cremations are down.
Because you never know...
INT. FUNERAL PARLOR - LATER
In the mourning room stands an open casket containing a man
by the name of JONAS LATTERBY. He seems dead.
JOAN and LOIS, two elderly women in their 70s, are visiting.
They take a peek.
JOAN
He looks at peace...
LOIS
Peaceful, yeah.
Joan turns to Lois.
JOAN
You had something with Jonas?
Lois blushes and looks down.
LOIS
Uh...
JOAN
Aha! There was something...
LOIS
It's such a long time ago. We were
just out of school and bored...
JOAN
I know the feeling. Did anything
happen?
Lois stares at Joan in mock horror.
LOIS
Joan, you're terrible! That's
private!
Joan smirks.
JOAN
Not very private, the way you two
went at it.
They laugh, masking a sound coming from the casket.
LOIS
Anyway, I broke it off...
Suddenly, Jonas jerks up.
JONAS
That's not true! Lois, you begged
me to stay!
They woman scream; Lois faints and falls flat on the floor.
The funeral director runs in and surveys the remarkable
scene.
FUNERAL DIRECTOR
What happened?
Joan looks ashamed.
JOAN
We were gossiping, showing little
respect. It must have made Jonas so
mad that he came back to get us!
Joan looks forlorn.
The funeral director calls the doctor.
FUNERAL DIRECTOR
(On phone)
Doc, you better get over here to
the funeral parlor.
INT. FUNERAL PARLOR - LATER
The doctor takes the vitals of Jonas Latterby. Joan, Lois,
and the funeral director watch.
The doctor turns to the funeral director.
DOCTOR
He's fine. So why did he seem dead?
Jonas looks perturbed.
JONAS
Doc, I'm right here...
DOCTOR
Sorry, Jonas, occupational habit.
Tell me, what did it feel like to
die?
Jonas hesitates a moment, looking grim.
JONAS
I just was asleep. A very deep
sleep --
JONAS' VISION
Jonas is trudging down what looks like a tunnel with moving
shapes as walls and flashes of light.
JONAS (O.S.)
I had a dream, walking through a
long tunnel... A very long, never-
ending tunnel.
I was surrounded by a glow and
strange moving shapes...
BACK TO SCENE
All are silent for a bit.
Then, the funeral director brightens up.
FUNERAL DIRECTOR
I have an idea. Joan, Lois, and
some of the other, uh... elderly
informants could be of help.
INT. FUNERAL PARLOR - DAY
SUPER: Yet another week later
In a casket is THOMAS SAFFORD, lying very still indeed.
We hear, but don't see, that the mourning room is lively,
resembling a social gathering. Present are several ELDERLY
LADIES; Joan and Lois among them.
JOAN (O.S.)
Suddenly, there was Officer Perry.
And that was it for poor Thomas!
Everyone bursts out laughing.
While this is going on --
TWIRLY TUNNEL
Thomas trudges down what looks like a tunnel with rotating
shapes and flashes of light. At first, the sound from the
mourning room is audible, then fades away, and an eerie drone
takes its place.
Thomas continues and suddenly there is light. Bucolic scenery
emerges. A young female GREETER is waiting.
GREETER
Thomas, welcome!
Thomas just stands there, uneasy.
THOMAS
Uh....
GREETER
Relax! No reason to be scared!
Thomas loosens up a bit.
THOMAS
Alright!
BACK TO SCENE
We now see that the elderly ladies are seated around the open
casket. The funeral director and the doctor are standing
behind them.
JOAN
I think this will do. He sure is
gone!
The others nod in agreement.
LOIS
Still, the previous one came back
to life, so we are doing them a
service.
The funeral director looks the women over.
FUNERAL DIRECTOR
Thank you ladies for your good
work. You've saved us from
embarrassment. All whom were to be
buried stayed in their casket.
The doctor smiles encouraging.
DOCTOR
Yes, thanks to you, they're really
dead.
He taps on the casket
DOCTOR
Knock... on... wood!
FADE OUT.
THE END